All my life, jug-eared Uncle Gary has been exhorting me to eat crisps and I have willingly heeded his call. I've seen good times (Thai sweet chili Sensations) and bad times (vanilla ice cream Monster Munch) and even in-between times (hedgehog flavour. What was that?), but after many years of crispy adventure, my taste buds had begun to crave the simplicity of pure potato-ey goodness. These days, there was nothing I liked better than curling up with a packet of Salt & Shake sans blue packet, except perhaps for the sheer unadulterated joy of Tyrell's Naked Crisps.
All this was to change however when Uncle Gary unveiled his latest abomination - six new flavours to tantalise those left unmoved by mere prawn cocktail and cheese & onion. How could I resist?
The six flavours have already been whittled down from suggestions from the public and it's now up to those same people to judge which of these creations deserve to join the Walkers stable permanently. In alphabetical order, they are:
- Builders' Breakfast
- Cajun Squirrel
- Chili & Chocolate
- Crispy Duck & Hoisin
- Fish & Chips
- Onion Bhaji
The individual packets are large and cost about 60p; you can also buy multipacks which are obviously much smaller. My hubby managed to get the big packs from Sainsbury's and that night we had our taste test. Here's the results.
THE WALKERS "DO US A FLAVOUR" TASTE TEST:
Builder's Breakfast:
Ugh no. Just no. There's a whiff of sausage and a hint of tomato ketchup, but the overwhelming flavour is of egg. I was not put on this earth to eat eggy crisps. Just thinking about them makes me heave a little.
Cajun Squirrel:
Never fear - all Walkers' crisps are vegetarian and the name's a joke. Apparently this is meant to be made with authentic Cajun spices, but they just taste like a manky, stronger, more MSG-ey version of Turkey & Stuffing. Fail.
Chilli & Chocolate:
I'm very sceptical about this one. I quite like chocolate with chilli in it, but I'm not so sure about chocolate and chilli and potato, although chocolate and savoury is an accepted flavour combo in some parts of the world. I just can't believe Walker's can pull it off. However, I eat my words when the first hit I get is of rich cocoa followed swiftly by spicy chilli. They're actually quite nice although so strong I can't eat more than a couple.
Crispy Duck & Hoisin:
Now I've had versions of Duck & Hoisin crisps before and they were all too sweet and Hoisin-y with very little duck flavour. These ones though, they're the business. The first flavour you get is the delicate hint of the steamed pancakes which come with Chinese duck. Next a little frisson of the shredded cucumber and spring onion and finally the taste of real duck comes through. I feel like Violet Beauregarde eating Wonka's chewing gum - it absolutely goshdarnit tastes like the real thing. I move on before I get too emotional.
Fish & Chips:
Does anyone remember the original Fish & Chips - biscuity snacks shaped like the eponymous, slightly vinegary but decidely more-ish? Anyway, these little beauties are really blimming good - a bit like a non-gross version of Scampi & Lemon NikNaks. Marvellous. We finish the pack.
Onion Bhaji:
This is properly good - you can taste real masala and not just generic "curry powder". Definitely a keeper and yet somehow, somehow, I'm uninspired. I've been spoilt and it's just not wacky enough for my liking.
THE FINAL SCORES:
In order of authenticity, hubby and I'd rank them as follows:
- Crispy Duck & Hoisin
- Builder's Breakfast
- Onion Bhaji
- Fish & Chips
- Chilli & Chocolate
- Cajun Squirrel
- Crispy Duck & Hoisin
- Fish & Chips
- Chilli & Chocolate
- Onion Bhaji
- Cajun Squirrel
- Builder's Breakfast
If you'd like to take part, grab them from any good supermarket or newsagents, taste them and then vote at www.walkers.co.uk/flavours.
The winner gets a one-off cash prize of £50,000 AND 1 % royalties for the rest of their lives.
Dammit, I wish I'd entered now...
Comments
We'll bring you some next time we see ya :)