Rant: Great British Menu 2009 - The Final Results

Yes, it's finally here - the Results of the Great British Menu 2009. We voted; the judges voted; together we may have created an unholy mishmash of flavours, but dammit if we don't love the chefs that made them.

All the finalists have gathered at the Imperial War Museum to find out if they will be feeding servicemen and women returning from Afghanistan at a special banquet at RAF Halton House.

Just to remind you, the eight chefs in the final are:

• Glynn Purnell for Central
• Tom Kitchin for Scotland
• Kenny Atkinson for North East
• Danny Millar for Northern Ireland
• Shaun Rankin for South West
• James Sommerin for Wales
• Nigel Haworth for North West
• Tristan Welch for South East

Jennie Bond makes all manner of totally inappropriate military-related metaphors ("The chefs' fight has reached the culmination of their campaign"; "Who'll be in the front line and who has fallen by the wayside?") - I mean, the soldiers have actually been out there fighting for their lives; I bet the worst these chefs will have seen is a hot oil burn.

Then Oliver Peyton, Prue Leith and Matthew Fort pat each other on the back for having eaten another 96 gourmet meals, and Oliver remarks "I think we've seen the best cooking ever, more than in previous competitions". LIES! In the past they've given Glynn Purnell, Sat Bains and Jason Atherton perfect scores - who got that this time around, eh, eh? NO-ONE!

Anyway, the votes are in and here are the top three and the winner for each course:

STARTER

• James Sommerin with Poached Chicken with Pea Ravioli and Welsh Cheese
• Kenny Atkinson with Salad of Aberdeen Angus Beef, Carrots, Horseradish and Shetland Black Potatoes
• Danny Millar with Chicken & Vegetable Broth with Buttered Soda Farls and Chicken Livers (popular vote propelled him into the top 3; the judges had ranked him 5th)

AND THE WINNING STARTER IS:

Kenny Atkinson with Salad of Aberdeen Angus Beef, Carrots, Horseradish and Shetland Black Potatoes - a shock overturning of the judges' 1st choice of James Sommerin, who is sweet enough to take it really well; guess people really don't like ravioli.

FISH COURSE

• Glynn Purnell with Masala Spiced Monkfish and Red Lentils with Pickled Carrots and Coconut
• Nigel Haworth with Muncaster Crab, Tossed Salad, Egg and English Mustard Mayonnaise
• Kenny Atkinson with Craster Fish Pie

AND THE WINNING FISH COURSE IS:

Glynn Purnell with Masala Spiced Monkfish and Red Lentils with Pickled Carrots and Coconut

MAIN COURSE

• Nigel Haworth with Lonk Lamb Lancashire Hotpot, Pickled Red Cabbage, Carrots and Leeks
• Tom Kitchin with Beef Wellington, Morel Mushrooms and Asparagus
• Danny Millar with Roast Rib of Dexter Beef, Potato Boxty, Summer Vegetables and Gravy

AND THE WINNING MAIN COURSE IS:

Nigel Haworth with Lonk Lamb Lancashire Hotpot, Pickled Red Cabbage, Carrots and Leeks

DESSERT

• Shaun Rankin with Treacle Tart with Jersey Clotted Cream and Raspberry Ripple Ice Cream
• Tristan Welch with Rhubarb & Crumble Custard Ice Cream
• Tom Kitchin with Highland Crowdie Cheesecake Mousse served with Summer Fruit Jelly and Berries

AND THE WINNING DESSERT IS:

Shaun Rankin with Treacle Tart with Jersey Clotted Cream and Raspberry Ripple Ice Cream

So the Great British Menu for the 2009 Banquet reads as follows:

• Salad of Aberdeen Angus Beef, Carrots, Horseradish and Shetland Black Potatoes
• Masala Spiced Monkfish and Red Lentils with Pickled Carrots and Coconut
• Lonk Lamb Lancashire Hotpot, Pickled Red Cabbage, Carrots and Leeks
• Treacle Tart with Jersey Clotted Cream and Raspberry Ripple Ice Cream

Many, many congratulations to Kenny, Glynn, Nigel and Shaun! Of course, I adore Glynn anyway, Nigel is the Daddy, and Shaun really deserved a break, but I'm especially chuffed newbie Kenny won something as most of his dishes were really strong (and his starter and dessert were incredible looking).

Commiserations to the rest of the chefs (don't give up Tom and Danny!), but I'm sure they'll be drafted in to help on the big day (ooh, more army puns!)

Anyway, it's been emotional.

Thank you and good night.

All screencaps copyright BBC/Optomen, but created and edited by me - if you want to use them, please ask first and credit me - thanks :)