So there I was innocently reading about the untimely demise of Michael Jackson, when my eye strayed down to the brightly-coloured advert at the bottom.
Cute cartoon characters, but no clue as to what the product actually was - I was intrigued.
As I turned the pages of thelondonpaper, there were more cartoon ads which spelt out the following message:
"We've added something new to muesli".
Anyway, it turns out Kellogg's have launched a new muesli called "Nature's Pleasure".
That's right, folks - "Nature's Pleasure".
The name itself has unfortunate connotations, but ladies and gents, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Take a closer look. Please.
Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmm.
Nothing says "muesli" like a moustachioed man in string vest and pants.
And look - are those bloodstains?
Cowboy boots, necktie and no kecks is how every man should dress for breakfast.
Yes sirree.
As for this one ... WHAT. THE. FRACK?
Why is the wonk-eyed woman to the left not wearing any pants???
It's somehow much, much more obscene than the stark naked guy next to her.
I've saved the best for last though - prepare yourselves:
OH. MY. GOD.
MY EYES - THEY BURN.
Please could someone provide a rational explanation (other than the obvious) for what the lady above is doing?
Is she perhaps searching for some delicious bits of muesli that nestle inside a strangely positioned pocket?
No, seriously - OH. MY. GOD.
At any rate, I no longer feel like trying the free samples I got at Taste of London.
Lord alone knows what the "something new" is that they've added to their muesli.
Lord alone knows what the "something new" is that they've added to their muesli.
Which flavour will I try next, Kellogg's?
None of them, you bunch of perverts.
I'm guessing you won't be adding me to your blog reviews page.
None of them, you bunch of perverts.
I'm guessing you won't be adding me to your blog reviews page.
Comments
Seriously though, I spent ages scanning the newspaper pages so I could share my disbelief.
Very honoured to have you here by the way, sir - sounds like you survived your first week like a trooper!
I shall definitely visit the Wild Garlic asap :)
Thank goodness for Rude Health I say, and unlike Kellogg's they just sell damn good muesli, without this sort of hairy advertising. My eyes, urgghh!!
There were literally tears of laughter from all of us sitting here in our cowboy boots and underpants.
Sometimes you can do nothing but hold your hands up... This would be one of those occasions.
I promise you though, it is safe to try the free samples... with or without a moustache.
Thanks again,
Kellogg's
Maybe Kellogg's should just rename it 'swingers cereal'.
Cue flood of 'outraged of..' complaints to the ASA when the Mail and Telegraph pick up on this one, though...
This stuff is foul, fattier than a big mac. Selling it as the choice of drunken debagged 'tards in the park is really just the icing on the cake.
What. Were. They. Thinking?!
Am very embarassed now for saying I liked it on my blog..and the fact I also have been buying it too.
Still disturbed from the 3rd from last picture. I mean, WTF??!
http://bit.ly/osWUP
You couldn't write this stuff.
(this is why I leave the blogging to GG)
@KirkK - Clearly not!
@gastrogeek - I hope this isn't the pinnacle of my writing achievement but thanks all the same :)
@Sophie - Yes, who is their demographic?
@Dan - I was very bored
@Signe - No, they've promised not to kill me so it's okay
@Kelloggs - It wasn't me.
@Dan W - Thanks!
@Anonymous1 - Hopefully they've got better things to complain about :)
@Anonymous2 - Is this Michael Phelps?
@Niamh - I still don't know
@Elle - Now, now, you know Kellogg's doesn't approve of such things...
@Chesrow - Cheers!
@Anne - Don't be embarrassed - none of these characters are actually on the boxes or the website so you weren't to know :)
@Gastrogeek's better half - cheeky
@Kavey - thanks!
I've got a new question for Kellogg's: Is that a pile o' autumn leaves or a pile of multi-colored dung? I'm concerned it's the latter, as there is a "d" in the old man's wheelbarrow!
@Jack - It spoke to us all - your post was fab too :)
@risamay - Thanks, and I agree, it's clearly a barrow of doo-doo ;p
I am slightly concerned I may have contributed to the downfall of the london paper.